Issue 2 Horoscopes!

BTI 18-19 Issue 2: Horoscopes!

1. Taurus

I get it, you’re stubborn. You don’t believe in horoscopes. That’s fine. Whatever! But nevertheless try to be a little more open minded this holiday season. Move away from that security-loving side of yourself – you know, take life by its metaphorical horns.

2. Cancer

You’re emotional and sympathetic, and there is zero doubt about it; a holiday movie is going to make you cry this season. Turn on the Hallmark channel and get out those tissues! The world could do with more warm-hearted people like you.

3. Leo

You’re larger than life, we understand. You’re the star on top of the Christmas tree and all that. But let someone else take centre stage for a while and reserve your generous and creative spirit for family and friends.

4. Pisces

You may be the embodiment of the season of giving, but don’t forget to take time for yourself too. Make yourself a mug of HoCho, turn on those twinkling lights, and play some good tunes. Forget about that wintry world out there for a little while.

5. Libra

We get it, you’re fashionable. But would it kill you to put on an ugly Christmas or Hanukkah sweater? Or even a pair of penguin socks? Or what about corduroy, at least? A knitted sweater? Is it even winter without a knitted sweater?

6. Aries

We love your fiery spirit, but take care not to make things too lit. We like our Christmas trees smoke free and Menorahs upright.

7. Capricorn

You have big holiday plans; you want to toboggan down the biggest hill, put up the most epic light arrangement, down the most eggnog. Kudos to you, my friend, but remember failure is a possibility. Snow can melt, lights can short fuse, and eggnog, to be frank, tastes terrible. Remember instead that what matters most in this magical time of year is appreciating the people around you.

8. Aquarius

You plan to consume an ungodly amount of hot chocolate this winter break. Good for you. I mean, really, add a little whipped cream and that sounds like time well spent.

9. Gemini

As you read this, you’re probably feeling cold. Winter can do that to you. All I can say is zip up your jacket, turn up the fire, and pull on some thick socks, and look out the window at that wintry wonderland. The cold almost feels worth it, doesn’t it?

10.  Virgo

I sense some gingerbread cookies in your future. And sugar cookies with coloured sprinkles. And loads of peppermint. There’s something magical about holiday baking, isn’t there?

11.  Scorpio

If I can give you any advice, it’s to go to the Toronto Christmas Market at The Distillery District. Sip on some hot chocolate; grab a gooey grilled cheese sandwich; stare at the lights; and hop on the Ferris wheel. There’s nothing but holiday cheer there!

12.  Sagittarius

You want a hippopotamus for Christmas.