Issue 3 Horoscopes!
1. Taurus
You’re a rock, my friend. Dependable may as well be your middle name. I really admire that. Teen years can feel kind of earth shattering and you're just there cruising it out and being a shoulder for friends to lean on. Kudos to you – staying grounded is difficult. Just remember sometimes you have to roll with things. After a while, it can easy be easy to get stuck in one place, in one kind of mindset, but sometimes you just gotta shake things up. The only constant is change.
2. Cancer
Crying is your gut reaction to everything, and I mean everything. Tough math test? Bring on the tears. Moving Prayers speech? Get out the tissues. Snatched the last breakfast cookie? Tears of joy are a thing, I swear. Got body-checked in the Grade Nine hallway? Just because it happens every other day doesn't mean you can’t cry about it. Don’t worry: at HC, crying is beyond acceptable – it’s a fact of life.
3. Leo
Life is absolutely absurd. What even is a 9:20 schedule? Why are the B hallway classrooms simultaneously too warm and too cold all at once? Why is the heater blaring while the window is wide open? How do green knee socks even fall down? What is the nature of a mini-test? Why has Kate Leonard never won the house banner (yet rocks intramurals, no bias here)? Why is “joy of being girl” grammatically correct? The stars offer no answers.
4. Pisces
I think you’re dangerously close to beginning to hate the colour green. The only solution is to make a conscientious effort to, well, not. Think of green as the point where yellow and blue become their best selves. You, too, in your Havergal green, can also become your best self.
5. Libra
You all share the same star sign as me, and I feel like that should offer a few perks. So you’ve heard it first… I will be graduating this spring (or the stars seem to be saying I will; who knows? Anything can happen). That means the newspaper will need a new horoscope writer, and I feel like after four years of the Sharp sisters dictating your futures, the time has come for someone new. If you feel you and the stars have a special connection, maybe you would like this intermediary position. Search your heart; read the skies; think on it.
6. Aries
It is freezing outside. Seasons can be the absolute worst. You have the power to make the cold marginally more bearable for us all. Keep that internal fire blazing. We all want that second-hand, life-affirming cheer and excitement. Bestow it on us; we beg you.
7. Capricorn
Life may be an uncharted track in the uncertain dark, but hey, you lucked out – you’re holding that mystic fire. Seek out those untrodden lands. Keep your living flame burning bright. Pass on that torch of life.
8. Aquarius
You’ve been dealt a pretty sick deck of cards; all aces, my friend. And it turns out you’re a bit of a card shark – who knew? Keep on rocking the game that is life. You’ll come out on top. But hey, one little request: maybe host a Euchre tournament at HC? Could be fun; who knows.
9. Gemini
You thrive on the 25 minute break. The coffee, tea, and HoCho you consume are your life and blood. There is nothing better than sitting and chatting with your friends with “Shallow” playing in the background! After all, mornings are for jamming out, catching up, and caffeinating. What better thing could you possibly do with your time?
10. Virgo
You’re going to be upset that I wrote pretty much nothing. I feel you. I would be, too. But, hey, I can’t help it if the stars won’t cooperate. I’m just the translator.
11. Scorpio
You're really into the whole singing in the rain idea. I probably am, too. Yet all it does is snow. Not really the same, is it? Hold on tight. I think we’ve almost made it to the other side of that which is winter. Or so I hope.
12. Sagittarius
You experience some pretty sick thoughts. You should write them down sometimes. I think other people would like to hear them. Try journalling (like a real journal, not a bullet one). Or open that Notes app. Or you could just share them in person with whomever happens to be sitting next to you. That could turn out to be pretty wild.