Mirror vs Mind

A young girl looks in the mirror and pulls at her t-shirt. She hates the way the tight sleeves dig into the skin on her arm; flesh pools around the seams. She hates the way her jeans stick to her thighs. Why doesn’t she look like the other girls? Why can’t she be skinnier? 

Another girl looks in the mirror. She hates the way her shirt never quite fits; it’s too baggy and bunches up around her waist. Her jeans are too big, and they never accentuate her body. Why can’t she look like the other girls? Why can’t she be curvier? 

The cycle is never-ending. One person’s desire is another’s insecurity, this constant battle between the mirror and mind is exhausting because in the end, the mirror always seems to win. The topic of “body image” is one we have all heard about many times; adults offer some sort of advice by telling us that all bodies are beautiful and we are perfect the way we are. But deep down we all know that these little pep talks never really change our outlook. Many people wish they could go back to being a little kid when the only thing that mattered was making sure you were not “it” for the game of tag. A moment that makes us realize that we’ve grown up is when we start worrying less about little games and more about ourselves and the way that we look. The obvious answer to why we even worry about what we look like is social media. We’ve all heard the talk about social media’s influence and what not; it’s the same thing over and over again. All the models and bodybuilders and their photoshop and how that sets unrealistic standards and expectations. This is nothing new, I believe we are all well aware of the influence the media has on us. However, something that’s not really brought up is the way WE affect each other. 

At Havergal sometimes it can feel like everything is a competition: who had the least amount of sleep, who spent the longest amount of time on their project, or who did the most work on the weekend. This competition extends to more than just school-related activities, many people often talk about how little they ate and how much they work out and have no idea how much their seemingly small comments can affect someone. You hear people talk about how they “literally had just a granola bar the whole day” and it makes you wonder if you’re eating too much. You hear people say that they lost 10 pounds in just one week, and it makes you feel like maybe you should try to do the same. It can be very detrimental to one’s mental health hearing people around you encourage unhealthy habits. It leaves you feeling bad for no reason.  This unhealthy way of life being promoted creates a toxic atmosphere and sets unrealistic expectations. Even if it may not seem like a “big deal” in your head, you have to remember that the topic is sensitive and we must be extremely considerate in our language when we talk about eating and working out habits. The students within the “ivy walls” sometimes fail to recognize that they can be big contributors to the competitive environment they hate so much. Havergal can feel like its own little world with a never-ending cycle of trying to achieve perfection. ProjectEAT, a statistical analysis of teens and eating habits, revealed that 57% of teens engaged in unhealthy weight control behaviours, 78% of students are unhappy with their bodies by the age of 17. These statistics showcase the huge number of teenagers who have negative relationships with eating and body image. Understanding these numbers is a step in the direction of improving the atmosphere of our school, whatever negative thoughts you might have about yourself, somebody else probably thinks the same about themselves. Rather than shaming one another for these feelings, we can work together to improve each other’s mindset. This won’t heal the wound that society has created but it can certainly form the stitches that lead to healing.